Discipline is a Spiritual Issue
August 31, 2009
A puzzling passage in the Bible is Galatians 5:22-23 which lists the fruit of the Spirit. These fruit are the results of allowing the Holy Spirit to influence, dominate, or control our lives. The last fruit of the Spirit is
self-control. The
self part is the puzzling part. If self-control, or self-discipline, is a Spirit-produced result, what part does the
self play? Doesn’t self-control and Spirit-fruit seem like a contradiction?
The answer is no. The fact self-control or self-discipline is Spirit produced only underscores the need to depend on the Spirit for developing this important quality. No fleshly effort will please God or build true discipline. Self-discipline refers to
self as the object of discipline rather than its source. Even though discipline is learned, and self is the object of the discipline, the motivation and power to develop discipline comes from the Spirit.
Biblical writers use different illustrations to teach about discipline. For example, farmers, soldiers, and athletes are all favorite analogies (2 Tim.2:3-7). Paul used runners and boxers to illustrate his need for discipline (1 Corinthians 9:24-27). He used the illustration of the boxer to describe himself writing, “I do not box like one who beats the air. Instead, I discipline (beat) my body and bring it under strict control….”
Christian leadership requires discipline, self-control, and the ability to do the right thing in the face of unusual circumstances. One of the most disciplined leaders in the Bible was Joseph, Jesus’ stepfather. Joseph encountered a very unusual and challenging circumstance. Mary was pregnant! He demonstrated remarkable self-control by not ending his relationship with Mary. Joseph had every right to do so but chose to marry her instead. He reared Jesus in the face of what must have been intense critical scrutiny by the community. Joseph did this without any record of rancor, response, or retaliation to whatever he or his family may have faced.
But the more remarkable testimony to Joseph’s self-control is he “married her (Mary) but did not know her intimately until she gave birth to a son” (Matthew 1:24-25). Mary and Joseph, a unique couple in many ways, were also very human. We can reasonably assume, under normal circumstances, they would have initiated their sexual relationship after marriage.
Joseph, however, maintained his sexual self-control and kept Mary a virgin until after the birth of Jesus. While God was responsible for the virgin
conception of Jesus, Joseph was responsible for the virgin
birth. What a trust Joseph was given! God called him to protect Mary’s virginity so Jesus would be born of a virgin.
Clearly, discipline is a desirable quality for leaders. Desirable, but not easily attained. Paul’s image of self-pummeling is not pleasant but communicates how seriously a leader must development discipline. Practicing a disciplined lifestyle will be painful. The pain must sometimes be self-inflicted. The Spirit will empower you to bring yourself under control.
Thank God our need for discipline is not dependent on self-effort!
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Leading From A Disciplined Life
August 25, 2009
Children believe becoming an adult means they can do whatever they want, when they want. If only it were so! No wonder my oldest son, when he turned 21, told his younger siblings, “Stay a kid as long as you can!” Adulthood equals responsibility. Being an adult means you fulfill your responsibilities without supervision. Leadership requires you do this to an even greater degree than your followers. Leadership calls for fulfilling self-supervised responsibilities, often duties only you know you have.
Leadership requires discipline. Discipline is the ability to regulate your behavior by principle rather than impulse, reason rather than emotion, and long range results rather than immediate gratification. Discipline is doing what is best, not what is easiest. You are disciplined when you choose to do difficult things and make them a habit.
Ministry leaders must develop greater levels of self-control than their followers for several reasons. First, leaders are expected to model proper behavior in many different areas. Ministry leaders set the pace in everything from parenting skills to personal witnessing to financial management. Discipline is required to model positively so many different areas. While no leader is a perfect model in any area, every leader is expected to be an acceptable model in multiple areas.
Second, a leader’s behavior is limited in ways followers’ behavior is not. Leaders are required to be circumspect in their choices. Some actions might be acceptable to others, but leaders avoid even a hint of impropriety. Clothing choices are a good example. Christian leaders dress with deference to the age, cultural, and societal expectations they encounter. Leaders are not obligated to dress a certain way. But wise leaders know their clothing choices are significant. Self-control is required to accept and make these lifestyle choices in the best interest of their ministry purpose.
Another reason leaders must be self-disciplined is their workload. Everyone is busy! But schedule demands for leaders are often very challenging. Once commitments are made, they are hard to adjust without disappointing others by mangling their plans. Discipline is required to control what gets on the schedule and then make sure what is scheduled actually gets done.
Some leaders believe their role is to work less and keep others busy. This is a recipe for short tenure among your followers. Good leaders manage their schedule and are considerate of employees or volunteers. A healthy experience for a leader is to be a follower in a different setting or for a season. Pastors who have moved to “member only” roles in churches often change their perspective on ministry involvement. They realize how difficult it is to manage personal demands and meet the expectations of church membership.
Finally, leaders must be self-controlled because they do not usually have close supervision. Leaders, particularly ministry leaders, often have wide latitude in determining their schedule, activities, projects, and methods. Pastors are often largely on their own with little direct supervision. Freedom from external control requires a leader be disciplined enough to do the right thing, while creating necessary structures to help them stay on track.
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Find Security in Jesus Christ
August 17, 2009
When my insecurities became so obvious they could no longer be ignored, the questions became, “What do I do about them? How do I find genuine security?” And, the more basic question, “Is it wrong to want to feel secure?”
The desires for security and significance are not sub-Christian. God has made every person with the same basic desires and drives. There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel secure. The problem is we often satisfy this deep longing in destructive ways. Perhaps you have seen yourself in the earlier description of symptoms of insecurity in a leader. The solution is not eradicating your need to feel secure. The solution is finding security from a proper source.
A basic doctrine of the Christian faith is the security of the believer. I grew up in a part of the country populated by influential churches that did not believe this doctrine. I heard many passionate debates about “once saved, always saved” between Baptists and friends from other groups. That was my early exposure to the security of the believer. The focus was on eternity. If you were saved now, you would be saved forever. My early understanding of this doctrine meant it was more about tomorrow than it is about today.
Understanding my need for personal security drove me to reconsider the doctrine of the security of the believer. After significant study, this breakthrough came in my understanding:
The security of the believer is as much about today as it is about eternity. The security of the believer means all who trust Jesus for salvation will always be secure with him. But it also means we are as secure NOW as we will ever be. Your security in Jesus is not something you get when you die. You received it when you were saved. You are as secure in Jesus right now as you will ever be!
The security of the believer is not a cold, sterile doctrine to be debated. It is a present spiritual reality to be enjoyed! The beginning point of overcoming insecurity is renewing your mind with biblical truth about your security in Jesus. Your security as a believer, particularly as it relates to leadership, can be summarized in the following key statements.
God and Jesus make you secure. In John 10:28-29, believers are portrayed as being held tightly in Jesus’ hands. Jesus and all believers are portrayed as being held tightly in God’s hands. Jesus promises “no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand” and that he and the Father “are one.” This imagery means God guarantees your secure relationship with him through Jesus Christ. This simple conviction is the foundation of your security as a believer: God and Jesus hold you securely in relationship with them.
That is comforting! Your security comes from your relationship with God. You are not responsible for your security, for somehow finding emotional health that produces security, or creating a sense of personal security. You are secure because God has secured you to himself. He has given you identity and infused you with value as his child.
Security emerges from a relationship. We seem to know that intuitively. Seeking security in wrong relationships is the problem. Doing this ultimately causes leaders to abuse relationships. We might compulsively serve people to gain their approval and blessing. We might develop an immoral relationship seeking inner satisfaction. Or, we might compromise inappropriately to keep our job.
Right principle, wrong applications! You
should seek security in a relationship but in the right relationship – with God through Jesus. Seeking it in any other relationship – your wife, child, mother, father, or followers will leave you empty and longing. Like a sugar high, it may satisfy for a while but will leave you deflated.
The only source of real security is your relationship with God through Jesus. He validates you, blesses you, accepts you, and gives you worth. In him, you are secure so you can choose to live securely and feel secure.
True security resists all threats. Jesus makes two other promises in John 10:28-29 related to our security. He promises we are so secure “no one” can harm us and we have “eternal life.” This has two applications related to your security.
First, no one can take away the security you have in God through Jesus. You will be tested repeatedly and often at this point. Leaders sometimes deal with difficult people. We are criticized, ridiculed, and rejected. Our proposals are analyzed, dissected, and vilified. People offer “constructive criticism” on what we wear, drive, and do in our leisure time. They comment on how we raise our children, comb our hair, and maintain our home.
Serious critics write poisonous letters, make appointments to formally rebuke you, gossip aggressively, or otherwise attack you publicly. No matter how strong you are or how unfounded the attacks, they still hurt. Critics rob insecure leaders of their sense of God’s abiding blessing. While feeling the emotional sting of criticism, secure leaders are not controlled by their critics. They rest in the security they have in the one relationship that really matters.
Second, this security is forever. Remember, it is not for the afterlife only, but for this life as well. Specifically, no matter what the present or future holds, you are and always will be secure. You can live through public criticism, loss of status, bad decisions, and other personal attacks because you are secure. You can also survive personal loss, family illness, financial setbacks or whatever else the future has in store for you. Your security in your relationship with God through Jesus can stand up to anything that comes at you.
This is the great, often untapped reality of the security of the believer. You are as secure in Jesus
right now as you will ever be. You are as secure now as you will someday be in heaven. You
are secure…so live it and enjoy it!
Secure leaders are free to obey God. When Jesus taught about our security, he also said his followers “listen to his voice” and “follow him” (John 10:27). Jesus recognized an important reality: People are often controlled by their need for security. Security is such a strong need, compelling drive, and powerful thirst, that whatever satisfies the need will be obeyed. Leaders who draw security from God through Jesus are free to obey God.
One young leader’s deep insecurity led him into Internet pornography. Looking at graphic sexual images gave him a satisfaction he did not experience in other ways, not even in a sexual relationship with his wife. He mistakenly thought the intense, but brief emotional release he felt while viewing pornography would satisfy his deep inner longings. In short, in a twisted yet powerful way, he looked to pornography to prove his manhood and establish his security.
No matter how sinful he felt, how much self-condemnation he experienced, or how many times he promised God he would never do it again his compulsive pattern only deepened. Ultimately, an emotional breakdown resulted. The steady love of his wife, the wise counsel of elders, a no-nonsense accountability group, and the support of his church created the environment for him to change his behavior. But, the behavior only changed when he realized Internet pornography was not his problem. Pornography was his symptom. Deep insecurity was his problem.
You
will satisfy your thirst for security. The drive for security is not the problem. How we satisfy it is. If people liking you makes you feel secure, you will please people at all costs. If accomplishments make you feel secure, you will be driven to get things done. If physical pleasure, however fleeting, gives you a sense of security you will pursue those passions. You will obey the compelling urge that feeds your need for security. But, if your relationship with God through Jesus is your source of security, you will obey God.
Secure leaders are confident without being arrogant. They are relaxed without being lackadaisical. Secure leaders rest in the reality their relationship with God is their defining source of value, worth, and well-being. They have nothing left to prove, nothing left to conquer, and are not beholden to anyone. Secure leaders are free to obey God – and there is no greater freedom!
Renewing your mind, really feeling secure. Changing a core understanding like your source of security happens at both a point in time and as a process over time. It starts by accepting the truth that the only legitimate source of security is a relationship with God through Jesus Christ. That is a “point in time” decision you must make based on truth – revealed, absolute, non-negotiable truth from the Bible.
Hammering down that stake, affirming your conviction about your security is the first step. The second step is more challenging. You must practice the spiritual discipline of confronting wrong thinking, destructive behavior, and bad habits built on your foundation of false security. This requires meditation, prayer, reflection, accountability, and difficult choices. Foundational to these disciplines is renewing your mind through Scripture memory. Choose key passages about your security in Jesus Christ and commit them to memory. Allow them to reprogram your thinking – to renew your mind – and give you a new outlook on yourself and what gives you true worth. When you do this, real change will come through real choices.
Do not be discouraged if this is a prolonged process. I still pray often, meditating on Scripture affirming my security in Jesus, and asking for strength to make decisions in obedience to him alone. Temptation entices me to give in to old patterns. But the good news is those temptations are waning as years of walking in new truth about security creates new and better habits.
God wants you to be secure in him and lead out of that powerful certainty. Break the bondage of insecurity and devilish false security from sources that can never satisfy! Become a secure leader in Jesus Christ.
<< Return to Archive
Find Security in Jesus Christ
August 11, 2009
When my insecurities became so obvious they could no longer be ignored, the questions became, “What do I do about them? How do I find genuine security?” And, the more basic question, “Is it wrong to want to feel secure?”
The desires for security and significance are not sub-Christian. God has made every person with the same basic desires and drives. There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel secure. The problem is we often satisfy this deep longing in destructive ways. Perhaps you have seen yourself in the earlier description of symptoms of insecurity in a leader. The solution is not eradicating your need to feel secure. The solution is finding security from a proper source.
A basic doctrine of the Christian faith is the security of the believer. I grew up in a part of the country populated by influential churches that did not believe this doctrine. I heard many passionate debates about “once saved, always saved” between Baptists and friends from other groups. That was my early exposure to the security of the believer. The focus was on eternity. If you were saved now, you would be saved forever. My early understanding of this doctrine meant it was more about tomorrow than it is about today.
Understanding my need for personal security drove me to reconsider the doctrine of the security of the believer. After significant study, this breakthrough came in my understanding:
The security of the believer is as much about today as it is about eternity. The security of the believer means all who trust Jesus for salvation will always be secure with him. But it also means we are as secure NOW as we will ever be. Your security in Jesus is not something you get when you die. You received it when you were saved. You are as secure in Jesus right now as you will ever be!
The security of the believer is not a cold, sterile doctrine to be debated. It is a present spiritual reality to be enjoyed! The beginning point of overcoming insecurity is renewing your mind with biblical truth about your security in Jesus. Your security as a believer, particularly as it relates to leadership, can be summarized in the following key statements.
God and Jesus make you secure. In John 10:28-29, believers are portrayed as being held tightly in Jesus’ hands. Jesus and all believers are portrayed as being held tightly in God’s hands. Jesus promises “no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand” and that he and the Father “are one.” This imagery means God guarantees your secure relationship with him through Jesus Christ. This simple conviction is the foundation of your security as a believer: God and Jesus hold you securely in relationship with them.
That is comforting! Your security comes from your relationship with God. You are not responsible for your security, for somehow finding emotional health that produces security, or creating a sense of personal security. You are secure because God has secured you to himself. He has given you identity and infused you with value as his child.
Security emerges from a relationship. We seem to know that intuitively. Seeking security in wrong relationships is the problem. Doing this ultimately causes leaders to abuse relationships. We might compulsively serve people to gain their approval and blessing. We might develop an immoral relationship seeking inner satisfaction. Or, we might compromise inappropriately to keep our job.
Right principle, wrong applications! You
should seek security in a relationship but in the right relationship – with God through Jesus. Seeking it in any other relationship – your wife, child, mother, father, or followers will leave you empty and longing. Like a sugar high, it may satisfy for a while but will leave you deflated.
The only source of real security is your relationship with God through Jesus. He validates you, blesses you, accepts you, and gives you worth. In him, you
are secure so you can choose to live securely and feel secure.
True security resists all threats. Jesus makes two other promises in John 10:28-29 related to our security. He promises we are so secure “no one” can harm us and we have “eternal life.” This has two applications related to your security.
First, no one can take away the security you have in God through Jesus. You will be tested repeatedly and often at this point. Leaders sometimes deal with difficult people. We are criticized, ridiculed, and rejected. Our proposals are analyzed, dissected, and vilified. People offer “constructive criticism” on what we wear, drive, and do in our leisure time. They comment on how we raise our children, comb our hair, and maintain our home.
Serious critics write poisonous letters, make appointments to formally rebuke you, gossip aggressively, or otherwise attack you publicly. No matter how strong you are or how unfounded the attacks, they still hurt. Critics rob insecure leaders of their sense of God’s abiding blessing. While feeling the emotional sting of criticism, secure leaders are not controlled by their critics. They rest in the security they have in the one relationship that really matters.
Second, this security is forever. Remember, it is not for the afterlife only, but for this life as well. Specifically, no matter what the present or future holds, you are and always will be secure. You can live through public criticism, loss of status, bad decisions, and other personal attacks because you are secure. You can also survive personal loss, family illness, financial setbacks or whatever else the future has in store for you. Your security in your relationship with God through Jesus can stand up to anything that comes at you.
This is the great, often untapped reality of the security of the believer. You are as secure in Jesus
right now as you will ever be. You are as secure now as you will someday be in heaven. You
are secure…so live it and enjoy it!
Secure leaders are free to obey God. When Jesus taught about our security, he also said his followers “listen to his voice” and “follow him” (John 10:27). Jesus recognized an important reality: People are often controlled by their need for security. Security is such a strong need, compelling drive, and powerful thirst, that whatever satisfies the need will be obeyed. Leaders who draw security from God through Jesus are free to obey God.
One young leader’s deep insecurity led him into Internet pornography. Looking at graphic sexual images gave him a satisfaction he did not experience in other ways, not even in a sexual relationship with his wife. He mistakenly thought the intense, but brief emotional release he felt while viewing pornography would satisfy his deep inner longings. In short, in a twisted yet powerful way, he looked to pornography to prove his manhood and establish his security.
No matter how sinful he felt, how much self-condemnation he experienced, or how many times he promised God he would never do it again his compulsive pattern only deepened. Ultimately, an emotional breakdown resulted. The steady love of his wife, the wise counsel of elders, a no-nonsense accountability group, and the support of his church created the environment for him to change his behavior. But, the behavior only changed when he realized Internet pornography was not his problem. Pornography was his symptom. Deep insecurity was his problem.
You
will satisfy your thirst for security. The drive for security is not the problem. How we satisfy it is. If people liking you makes you feel secure, you will please people at all costs. If accomplishments make you feel secure, you will be driven to get things done. If physical pleasure, however fleeting, gives you a sense of security you will pursue those passions. You will obey the compelling urge that feeds your need for security. But, if your relationship with God through Jesus is your source of security, you will obey God.
Secure leaders are confident without being arrogant. They are relaxed without being lackadaisical. Secure leaders rest in the reality their relationship with God is their defining source of value, worth, and well-being. They have nothing left to prove, nothing left to conquer, and are not beholden to anyone. Secure leaders are free to obey God – and there is no greater freedom!
Renewing your mind, really feeling secure. Changing a core understanding like your source of security happens at both a point in time and as a process over time. It starts by accepting the truth that the only legitimate source of security is a relationship with God through Jesus Christ. That is a “point in time” decision you must make based on truth – revealed, absolute, non-negotiable truth from the Bible.
Hammering down that stake, affirming your conviction about your security is the first step. The second step is more challenging. You must practice the spiritual discipline of confronting wrong thinking, destructive behavior, and bad habits built on your foundation of false security. This requires meditation, prayer, reflection, accountability, and difficult choices. Foundational to these disciplines is renewing your mind through Scripture memory. Choose key passages about your security in Jesus Christ and commit them to memory. Allow them to reprogram your thinking – to renew your mind – and give you a new outlook on yourself and what gives you true worth. When you do this, real change will come through real choices.
Do not be discouraged if this is a prolonged process. I still pray often, meditating on Scripture affirming my security in Jesus, and asking for strength to make decisions in obedience to him alone. Temptation entices me to give in to old patterns. But the good news is those temptations are waning as years of walking in new truth about security creates new and better habits.
God wants you to be secure in him and lead out of that powerful certainty. Break the bondage of insecurity and devilish false security from sources that can never satisfy! Become a secure leader in Jesus Christ.
<< Return to Archive
Symptoms of insecurity-Part 1
August 3, 2009
How does insecurity express itself in leaders? How can you recognize the telltale signs of an insecure leader? What outward evidence gives away the inner insecurity that drives someone who appears so successful?
Symptom 1: The inability to say no without feeling guilty. Leaders have many demands placed on them. Saying no to requests for appointments, for requests to attend meetings or community activities, to fundraising appeals, and to demanding church members is difficult. Some leaders struggle with saying no because of the deep sense of fulfillment and value they receive from saying yes.
One pastor told me every time a church member called, no matter what they wanted, he felt obligated to respond. He told me of repeated instances when he would be sitting down with a bowl of popcorn to watch a movie with his family, or preparing to go to his son’s ballgame, or dressing for an evening out with his wife and the phone would ring. Off he would go, usually in a non-emergency situation, to meet the immediate “need” of the caller. This pastor simply could not say no. He was addicted to the affirmation people gave him for being such a high-performance pastor.
This was a competent, intelligent, effective pastor who was leading a growing church. He told me, “I think we can grow to 1000. That’s about how many people I can take care of.” By “take care of,” he meant, “personally attend to.” I challenged him to consider his ministry style, what was driving him, the long-term impact on his family and his health. He assured me “It’s all under control. And after all, God has called me to sacrifice for my people.”
This pastor had grown up in an abusive home with little or no affirmation from his father. He was rewarded for his spiritual zeal as a teenager by well-meaning church members and soon became addicted to Christian service. Combined with natural charisma, intelligence, and excellent speaking skills, this brother seemed like the ideal pastor – the kind of hard-working, hard-praying, hard-preaching man of God every church wants!
Over time, his wife became disillusioned and discouraged with his neglect and warped understanding of ministry. She insisted he devote more time to her and their children. He promised to do better, but like an alcoholic drawn to the bottle, he could not break his ministry habit. He needed his “affirmation fix” daily to meet his deep insecurity. He craved the sense of belonging, importance, and value that came from admiring church members. After a while his wife stopped asking for this attention and starting acting defiantly. Her behavior became erratic and out of character. Outsiders questioned her “rebellion.” Insiders knew she was not the problem.
All this came to a head when his wife, desperate for the attention her husband could not and would not give her, left him for another man. Some blamed her for being an adulteress (and, yes, she was). But few knew the whole story. This family came apart, not because of a woman’s lust, but because of the unsatisfied thirst of an insecure pastor.
One symptom of insecurity in your life may be the inability to say no without feeling guilty. You crave the admiration, affirmation, or even adulation others give you. You have a deep thirst for security, as all of us do, but you are satisfying it in destructive ways. You are unable to say no. Secure leaders, on the other hand, can say no because they are not dependent on constant affirmation from others.
Symptom 2: The inability to take risks and fail. Leaders are decision makers who are willing to take risks and possibly fail. Having the “high failure tolerance gene” is necessary for any leader who innovates, changes paradigms, or attempts new ventures.
Yet, some leaders become immobilized at this point. They are unable to take risks because of fear of failure, of what people will think, or of losing status in their church or community. They often wonder, “How will this decision make me look if it fails?” These leaders are status conscious, not because of pride, but because their fragile sense of security cannot tolerate much failure.
One young minister withered in his ability to take risks. He made some decisions early in a new ministry that were not popular. They were good decisions that produced solid results, but they were not popular decisions. The critics nibbled at him like a thousand gnats. Over time, this young leader became more and more wary. He was unwilling to make decisions because he could not stand the “ego hit” of the criticism that would come his way. Eventually, he simply froze! He stopped leading entirely.
You may be like this. You may have been more willing to take risks and make decisions earlier in your ministry. But the critics wore you down! Now you gauge the wind before every decision. You wonder how people will respond (normal course of consideration for a leader) but base your decision on how you will feel after they respond (a symptom you have a security problem).
Everyone wants to be liked. That’s not the issue. The problem is avoiding decisions, risk, and possible failure in order to avoid displeasing people. You crave the security favor with others provides and you are unwilling to do anything to jeopardize those relationships. A former college president told me he had difficulty recruiting businessmen to serve on his board with pastors. Why? The lay leaders were frustrated with pastors’ inability to make unpopular decisions because they are notorious people-pleasers. While that may sting, it is unfortunately true too much of the time.
Insecure leaders are immobilized by possible failure. Secure leaders make decisions, including those fraught with potential failure, concerned for but not controlled by the opinions of others.
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